The “how-to” guide.

Lately, I’ve had a lot of people asking me for relationship advice, love advice, advice on women, etc.

This is strange to me, because I’m exceedingly terrible at maintaining my already existing relationships and friendships, and my past relationships were like a stone from a sling. How exhilarating the flight, how breathtaking the apex, and how terrible the fall. Yeah, breathe that one in.

A lot of people who are close to me know that I spend more time by myself than with other people during my free time as a habit. One of my rules is that if you can’t enjoy your own company, nobody else will either. It’s of the utmost importance to be happy with yourself and who you are before you inflict yourself on someone else.

Because that’s exactly what you’re doing when you get into a relationship with someone. You are inflicting yourself upon them. You are becoming a burden for them to bear. Whether it’s a positive or negative burden is up to you, but again, if you’re not happy with yourself you will never be a positive influence on your relationship.

Now, even though I really don’t feel like I know what I’m talking about, I figure I might as well make a post that details my general thoughts on this type of stuff to refer people to when I get asked these types of questions.

When you’re in a relationship, the NUMBER ONE thing you can do is establish communication. You need to be equally selfish and unselfish. You HAVE to have “me” time. You absolutely have to. When people are exposed to the other constantly, there is going to be inevitable resentment between them. This happens with friends, it will absolutely happen with significant others. That’s essentially what I mean when I say be selfish. There is nothing wrong with doing your own thing for a few hours and a partner who tells you otherwise is a partner not worth having. When I say be unselfish, I mean get used to the idea of making sacrifices. Be willing to step out of your comfort zone with this person. They are wanting to experience things WITH you, not WITHOUT you, so be receptive and open to ideas. If your SO wants to go to a concert for a band you’re not entirely excited about (or you just completely hate) give it a shot, because it means something to your SO. They will know that you sacrificed your own comfort to go do this with them because you knew it was special to them. If you’re wise, you’ll also go into it with an open mind. You were attracted to this person (hopefully) because of WHO they are. Not who you want them to be. Let them teach you, let them help you, let them be with you.

I see people who fret over their looks, their bodies, minds, ideals, etc. Because they don’t think they are attractive to anyone, much less who they want to be attractive to. Let me tell you all from personal experience. I’m no peach, I have my days where I can make a freight train take a dirt road. I accept that I’m not even remotely the hottest dude on the block. I’m not going to say I’m ugly because I’m really not, but neither am I a head turner or even an eye catcher. What’s allowed me to be successful in my quests to get with people is the fact that I have confidence in myself. I am upfront from the get go about what I want from the opposite sex. When you have confidence in who you are and are comfortable in your own skin then you’ll find someone who is worth your time. People will feel far more comfortable around you when you project an air of confidence, rather than an air of insecurity.

When it comes into the relationship itself, YOU have to decide what you’re looking for before you even enter the partner world. Before there can be an “us” there has to be a YOU. Do you want to sleep with this person? Do you want to date this person? Do you want to talk to this person? Be their friend? What do YOU want? You have to know the answer to one of those questions before you can have a decent chance of success on any front. The other person will be asking themselves similar things. You’d be amazed the amount of people who pay attention to you every single day. Your posture, your speech cadence, your vocabulary, your style, etc. People look for this sort of thing and compare themselves to it unconsciously. “Oh man, that chick is hot as FUCK, she’s automatically out of my league.” Many an opportunity has been lost simply because a guy won’t talk to a girl because he still believes in “leagues.” Lemme tell you folks, I’ve broken that perception myself a few times. I firmly believe that anyone in the world can have a chance with someone if their personalities are compatible. I have to throw that caveat in there because a three hundred pound Brony will never sleep with a Victoria secret angel based on looks alone. If they both have closet hobbies that they can identify with, there is no telling what could happen between them.

This leads me to my next point. The person you show yourself to be is who you have to be. If you pull up in a rental vehicle that’s way above your pay grade but still try to show out for a prospect mate, you’re going to tell yourself into a corner that’s gonna end up like shit. Guys and girls lie all the time, about weight, likes, dislikes, hobbies, hell, even about their favorite color. I think that people can be worth lying for. But me, personally, I will never be attracted to someone who is a social chameleon and has to change who they are because they aren’t comfortable with themselves. It all goes back to the confidence I mentioned earlier. Be who you are because that’s gonna HOLD someone’s attention far longer than a nice car or suit. Do you have any idea how many women (I use this because I am, in fact, a male) WANT to be told “hey, you look bored and you’re dressed up for a night out even though your heart isn’t in it. I’m gonna be honest, I have zero intention of trying to impress you, but if you wanna head to my place and watch a shitty movie on netflix in sweatpants with snacks and alcohol then i’m taking off in ten.” That shit will work. It doesn’t always succeed, but it works better than lying to them. A lot of women want a man that they can marry. They secretly hope for it. But far more women are more interested in having someone they can just chill with while keeping their space, have great sex, do silly and fun things, and generally just be who they are. It all depends on how you portray yourself. A lot of times, these things end in really successful relationships that grow organically from time spent together rather than a one night stand and a hope for a phone call. BE WHO YOU ARE. IT WORKS. IT’S SEXY.

Another thing is “what if they say no?” Well, when that happens, you have two options. Mope and be a bitch, or put one foot in front of the other and onto the next one. In my mind, it’s not a hard decision to make. But for most people, that’s the worst part. Fearing rejection. Then the comparisons start, the self doubt and blah blah jesus christ. Just talking about it makes me want to shower. Self loathing and a desire for pity is outrageously unattractive to me. If they say no, they say no. It is what it is mate, just step past it. There is an ungodly amount of the opposite sex on this planet. Someone will say yes. Then all those who said no don’t mean a god damn thing to you, you know what I’m saying?

I’m not gonna try to summarize everything I just typed, so I’ll just say be confident in who you are. There is only one of you in this existence and you will never exist again, so who gives even half a fuck what another person thinks about you? Judgmental bullshit is for the birds. Don’t be one of those folks.

– ya boy nay nay

The ‘real’ you.

I’m awake at 2am and I can’t find my fucking glasses. Anywhere. Bad eyesight is going to ruin my life.

 

I’m writing this because to be completely honest, I couldn’t sleep and I kept rolling around. I never use my Facebook anymore aside from when I pull of some SICK shit on Destiny when I play like…once every month. I’m pretty good at wasting money. Anyway, the thing is, I don’t use my Facebook or check my Instagram that often at all. I come back to it like once or twice every two to three months or so. A big reason for that social disconnect is because of how inane the vast majority of Facebook posts are. Just people trying to perpetuate this image of themselves that doesn’t exist. To anyone. The only people who buy that nonsense are the people who have never met you in real life.

 

I feel a lack of integrity from so many people these days that has nothing to do with my lack of reality due to retail. Social media has been a method of escape and relation for so many people. Nobody can really stand to be alone anymore, least of all those who lay in bed obsessively checking their timeline and feed for updates. For that little red number to populate in the upper right hand corner of whatever device you’re looking at. It’s not just Facebook, it extends to the vast majority of social media. What happens when you don’t get your media fix? When nobody retweeted you or liked your status? Can you believe that nobody thought your carefully arranged placeholders and knick knacks in the picture you just posted on instagram aren’t actually that cute or interesting? Admit it, you’ve deleted posts in the past that didn’t get a lot of attention. God forbid you look silly or ugly for more than a twenty minute span. The social media parasite has infected so many people that I know. If you don’t pay attention to your particular media format then you’re bound to miss something important. I’ve personally never used Tinder, but that shit is insane. You know what you COULD do? Actually leave your comfort zone of the same people you always hang out with and MEET people. People post this insane shit that they think is eye catching or thoughtful/insightful on these websites when really they don’t have any idea what it means themselves. The thing that blows my mind is that IT WORKS. I see these people who settle for these tools they meet on something like that and then they bitch about how this isn’t right, that isn’t right, this could be better.

 

I still can’t see anything. I think I spelled everything right there. I’m not writing this to rip on people or make them seem indolent or idiotic. I just think that it’s an obnoxiously vicious cycle. You see hot guy/girl that seems unique and mysterious, then you meet them and they’re reserved, silent, detached. (Holy…I spent fifteen seconds trying to remember that word. I was like “unattached?” don’t do drugs, kids. It makes you retarded.) Then you’re like, holy shit, this isn’t the dude or chick I thought they were..but fuck it boys, we’re going in because we know we aren’t gonna find anyone better. It’s one thing if you’re actively honest in using a tool like this but it seems so hopeless. The vast majority of people I know use it to boost the self-esteem of the facade they’ve created around themselves. You know, that person you portray yourself as to the public that doesn’t exist.

 

It makes everyone a little less genuine. A little more shallow and pedantic. A little more obnoxious and stupid. It sucks because meeting a genuine human being is a truly rare experience. Do you know how depressing that is? I find it immensely depressing.

 

Are you the person who hates to be by yourself but when you go out, you’re constantly on your phone or just shrug and pretend when someone talks to you? The person who makes it seem like you’re adventurous and outgoing on your social media formats but the actual you is a far cry from that? Then you’ve got a problem. Either you’re a bitch or you’re depressed. Probably a bitch. See, this all comes with the parasite I mentioned early. I’ve seen people legitimately lost their ability to interact with the general public because they don’t want to trip over the shit they’ve posted online and seem disingenuous.

 

Another thing that is insufferable, and honestly this shit just blows my mind, is how people have forgotten the definition of words they use.

For example…

Adventure

noun

1.

an exciting or very unusual experience.

2.

participation in exciting undertakings or enterprises:

the spirit of adventure.

3.

a bold, usually risky undertaking; hazardous action of uncertain outcome.

4.

a commercial or financial speculation of any kind; venture.

You going to starbucks with a buddy or by yourself does not an adventure make. If you find that exciting, (truly exciting, like finding out you just won millions of dollars or they’re releasing the new GoT season in it’s entirety early) truly exciting, then i love your innocence and find you cute. You might be autistic, but you’re still cute. But those people who romanticize the shit out of what they do make my head spin. Driving on the parkway with six other people and Bojangles doesn’t sound like an adventure to me. It sounds like a picnic. Literally. (also, holy shit, did you know that ‘literally’ and ‘figuratively’ are defined as the same thing in the dictionary? fucking rail me.) See, if you’re headed to a part of the woods that you’ve never been to before with someone and you know its gonna be dangerous and you honestly don’t know if you’re gonna come back out, THAT’S an adventure. Running the lake is not. Unless you have zero awareness and get hit by a vehicle, which if that happens then you need your darwin award before you reproduce.

I don’t know man. I’m bad for certain things and I think every good story deserves embellishment. I’m very protective of what I do and what my experiences are. I don’t feel the need to devalue them by making them something they aren’t and then posting them to a social feed. Taking a beautiful picture of a mountain is not made better by a stupid quote and bold lettering. To people who actually think outside of their twittersphere they are more likely to hide your shit than like it. What happened to being straight up and honest consistently across the board? Or did that every exist?How have we all not died from obesity due to the way our peers spoon feed validation to us?

The overall theme to this rant of nonsense is to be who YOU are across ALL your fronts. It’s disorganized, it’s late, I can’t see, but it gets the mess of shit out of my head and onto paper. Online.

There is only ONE of you. Only one you and there will only ever be ONE you. You are special without all your social media makeup. You have original thoughts and things to teach people that nobody else can. You owe it to yourself to be who you are. Not who you think everyone else wants you to be. Take your satisfaction from acts you’ve actually done that don’t need any sort of spice to make them better. You have one life. Why waste it being someone you’re not? After all, you’ll never exist again after this. It would be a damn shame if someone who is as awesome as you are, as unique as you are, as amazing as you are to die and have a false legacy of shit that isn’t quite true hanging around. You’re a massive thing in a small body and its much more satisfying to see you succeed as who you are than fail as someone you’re not.

Be real, folks.

Before I shoot myself.

-ya boy nay nay who is now going to post this to facebook, twitter, and goddammit if I could, instagram. I love irony and hypocrisy in equal amounts.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I feel like writing.

Betrayal.

I’ll start with that.

Recently betrayed, confused, hurt, angry. It’s caused an overload of things to streak through my mind unchecked. I feel like I can’t trust anyone. Which, honestly, I think may be true…because nobody is what they seem, at all.

I have an innate ability to be anyone I want to be at any given time. The life and soul of a party, the one who annoys everybody, the kid who chills on the couch, the kid who stays at home and games constantly. Whatever. It’s not hard, because people are not hard to please or hurt. Manipulation, it’s essential to today’s social structure. It’s literally retarded and I generally avoid to be apart of it. What’s crazy, is that that instantly makes me ‘interesting’. I break all the rules, right? Christ.

Like I previously mentioned, nobody is what they seem. This is too true. Nobody really is exactly who they are. Because nobody around them will let them. How often have you felt like doing something, but not done it because it isn’t cool? Guilty. I feel like a faggot, but it’s true. However fleeting, it’s easy to be caught up in the mood or social situation I might find myself in. It’s so dumb. But anyways, I digress. You can’t trust a soul other than yourself. You, and you alone know what you’ve done and haven’t done. Nobody else. I could say that I friended someone on facebook, the next thing I know, I’m getting calls and text messages about how I supposedly fucked them and plan on marrying them at the same time. Fuck, I could wake up and look at my phone and have a text that says ‘dude, are you really gay?’ How insane is that? You all know that it’s true. It’s ridiculous, but it’s totally true.

Your secrets really aren’t secrets. They become someone else’s secrets the moment they are uttered. I don’t generally keep secrets, because I don’t see the point. I keep other people’s secrets, but at the same time, it’s almost pointless. Because they’ll tell a hundred other people what they told you in different degrees. But believe me when I say, someone is always listening when you talk. Always. Someone is always filing things away, wondering how they can hurt you for their benefit. It’s a sad fact.

The thing with Donald, I’ll never, ever know why he did that. Ever. But what’s the point in speculating on it? He still has friends who think he’s something he isn’t. But my opinion is my own and I’ll not force it on anyone. Faithful readers, you may believe what you want in any given situation, and never think you have no control over any given situation. You ALWAYS have some sort of control over pretty much anything. You don’t have to listen to drama that concerns you. It’s perfectly acceptable to tell the offending person to fuck off, and leave it at that. I would know, I’ve done it. It’s always the last thing anyone expects, so it’s the greatest weapon. It’s not being silent, it’s not giving a fuck. It’s giving the drama delivery man a middle finger without a tip. The people that feel like they have no control over anything are wrong. Or they are digging some sort of hole in which they will hide in for attention.

Hate that. The craving for attention. How many of you post statuses that have literally nothing to do with what you’re doing, but you post them just because you know someone will agree with it, or ‘like’ it? Haha, again, guilty. But the times I post a nonsensical status is generally just to see which of you think you can derive some sort of deeper meaning from it. For some reason, I’ve been deemed this intense intellectual. I know it, I’m not bragging. I’ve been told it before. It doesn’t make very much sense to me, because they only intelligent thing I’ve ever done in my life is refuse drugs and alcohol. The rest I’ve done on impulse, or I’ve done because it suited me. Every choice has a consequence. Intelligence, to me, is knowing how to handle what you cause and having the foresight to prevent yourself from causing something potentially catastrophic to yourself and the parties involved. I clearly am not good at that.

Now, I’m not saying I haven’t made RIGHT choices. To me, there’s a huge difference between smart and right choices. After all, when someone says ‘smart choice’ it’s generally because you made a choice that benefits you. Nothing wrong with that.

You know, within my blog, I can be whoever I want to be. But I’m me. I always try to be me.

No matter what anyone says, I try to be who I am at all times. I try not to unduly impress anyone. I like being relied upon, I like being in charge, I like knowing when I’m the smartest person in the room. But I also like to look up to other people and give over charge. I like not being the smartest person in the room and I love to help people. I really think I have the capacity to help anyone I want to help and hurt anyone I want to hurt. Words are just words at the end of the day, but it’s the words you’ll remember, not the bruises. The pen is mightier than the sword, wordplay is greater than swordplay. I agree wholeheartedly.

You can win or defuse anything with the right sentence. You can get a girl, you can get a guy, you can win an argument, you can stop a fight, you can start a fight. It’s easy, really. It all depends on what you want to do with what you know you can do.

At the same time, you never know when what you say will step across a boundary. A lot of people are perceptive enough to know how to word things accurately enough to cover their own asses, but at the same time, make progress towards getting what they want. Want an example? “No offence man, but your girlfriend is kinda weird looking.” Know what that translates to? “You’re an idiot and your girlfriend looks like she was punched in the face at birth.”

It’s so easy to wrap an insult up in pretty wrapping paper.

I have a friend who right now is unsure of their future, and is flat out terrified of having a future already set in stone. When you’re dating someone and they turn serious…at our age, you would be wise to opt out. That is my opinion. I think people who get married before they’re truly ready are stupid. But at the same time, how will they grow if they don’t learn through experience? And whose to say that I’m right about them being stupid? It could all work out just fine.

That’s the beauty of life. It’s unpredictability. We thrive and we regress on change. Nothing stays the same forever. Forever isn’t a lie, but something that is said to be forever, generally never is.

You people who are constantly trying to one up your friends, trying to gain the upper hand. Take a step back and think about the fact that they could be dead tomorrow. A car could crush the life out of them just as easily as you can crush their self esteem with a well placed vocal arrow. It’s a grim reality. People die, all the time. I had a friend suffer a setback like this recently. Of course, calling it a setback is a gross oversimplification, but we’ve revisited the topic enough to know that I am truly sorry for the loss. It’s crazy how quickly things can change.

Make fun of and betray me today, I might be gone tomorrow.

I’m ‘the bad guy’, say hi to the ‘bad guy’.

Jesus Christ.

It’s like people want me to be atheist.

Donald Butler and his faithful sidekick Derek Lemieueuuskseuufhx. However you spell his surrender monkey last name.

The sheer amount of stupidity and lies that have spewed forth from the fount of bullshit and unemployment that is the mouth of Donald Butler is INSANE.

 

First things first.

Taylor has nothing to do with this. Mr. Butler decided that he was going to drop her a line (but tell everyone else she dropped him one, because then she would look annoying. lol funny funny lolololol) and tell her some ‘secrets’ about me. Then he proceeded to grass himself up to me “let’s hang out man, let’s get food, come over bro”. It’s like a dog. Apologizing before I even know something has been up.

 

I’ve been totally listless since the shit with Taylor went down. I’ve been tired constantly, wanting to sleep. No energy or motivation to do anything. Understandable, owing to the fact that I just had to end it with a girl I was with for nearly five years. So Donald strikes! When at your lowest, your most vulnerable, that’s when you’ll be struck.

I’m not afraid to post this up or anything at all. I’m beyond sick of you fuckers asking me what’s going on, so here it is. Donald decided to go balls to the wall betrayal on me, and started to feed Taylor a load of shit to match the last dump he took. She, also in a weakened state, lapped it up. Now, it should be noted, that he did the SAME THING to me when she left me. If I believe half of the rumors, then Taylor has fucked ninety percent of her graduating class and I might as well be a revolving door. Erm. Dick. Whatever, you get it.

Derek decided to confirm on the phone last night, when I was woken up by various phone calls of people saying that I hacked Donald’s account, that Donald had indeed been going behind my back. Friends are not deserved by those who do this. Now, those two are like a dynamic dramatic duo. It’s utter madness. Taylor being blamed for this, me being blamed for that, Donald being blamed for this, etc. It stemmed from Donald’s inability to not cause trouble. Jesus Christ, he robbed wal-mart out of a shit ton of money, and bitches about not having a job. Donald, you would have MORE friends if you didn’t do shit like this. But you’re just as picky with your friends as you are with your food. (Yes, he is picky with his food. Weird, eh?)

I’m fed up. I’m tired.

I got this out of my system and I blocked those two dickheads. They can enjoy their single friendship of each other. I am no longer in contact. But believe me when I say, I don’t care if they see this or not. I’m not hiding from anyone.

Now. I’m going to finally sleep and anyone who decides to bring another fuckton of drama my way will enjoy a fist in the stomach.

Goodnight.

Fuck.

You know, I could use somebody.

I feel like this has been a blog worth waiting on writing. I’m going to do my best to detail the business that took place between Taylor and I. It’s a painful subject for me by far. I’ll do my best to make it as unbiased as possible.

 

I’m not asking for your sympathy or your pity. I’m simply, quietly, and finally putting my emotions to rest.

 

Taylor Boyd was easily one of the greatest things to ever happen to me. She’ll never, ever know how much I loved her. It seemed like almost all of it was a dream. But the wounds are still there to prove me wrong. We were absolutely perfect for each other in almost every single way. We complimented each other in ways that I hadn’t imagined before. We shared similar interests. We had similar views. We were determined to last forever.

I feel like it was that determination that carried us through everything that we went through before my heart and my resolve finally gave out. Our relationship became a chore. A burden, to the both of us. There were things she wanted to do that I so strongly disagreed with, that it was almost infeasible for us to coexist in a loving fashion. As many of you know, I am absolutely against alcohol. And…well, I carried that over into my relationship. It was stupid, but I couldn’t help myself…I controlled her when it came to parties, drinking socially, etc. I knew she didn’t do it only because it was me that stopped her. She was not okay with it for a long time, but then she became okay with it. She sacrificed that for me. It cost her a lot of friends. It was supremely shitty of them to leave her during that time.

Second…the rumors that were always circulating about the two of us. Whether it was her cheating on me with Chris Sandridge, or Me cheating on her with Kaley Strayer, they were everywhere. While I had/have the utmost faith that Taylor never did anything untoward when it came to our relationship, it still undermines ones confidence when the entire world is out to destroy the relationship…

Third…me and Taylor. We ended up not being the couple we wanted to be. She left me more times than I care to remember. I left her twice. She experienced at long last, the pain she inflicted upon me when I finally grabbed hold of my dick and took a stand. I won’t deny knowing that it was much needed perspective. I thought maybe that would help us go along the path we needed to. I was wrong. I could sense a sort of staleness in the relationship. We spent more time making fun of each other than we did complimenting each other. I lost my taste for texting, because I was so used to having shitty text messages from her. I know that I sent them to her, too, but texting is such a horrible way of communicating when it’s serious. Ninety percent of a message is in the body language, ten percent is in the words. Stupid…

We fell in on ourselves. I was planning on making this the longest blog I’d written, but just thinking about it makes me exhausted and hurt. I’ve explained it countless times to those who cared enough to stick with me through my bullshit. It’s the worst pain I’ve ever felt in my life, but I chose this for the betterment of us both. She will end up being a star in her own way. Anyone with eyes can see that. I hope that one day in the future, far removed from this…amalgam of pain and misery, that we can become what we once were. I will always love her.

 

I’d also like to address a couple things while I’m writing this.

Friends:

What does that word really mean? There are so many different interpretations of the word that it’s almost lost in translation. I have some incredible people as friends, some who will never know how grateful I am to them for being the people that they are. I’ve lost friends, mainly to their own stupidity and infernal pride, but some from my own mistakes. Naturally, I assume that I’m right about ninety percent of things. My latest friend lost is Wes Albrecht, who is absolutely convinced that I lied to him about Mary Claire, facilitated by everyone’s favorite emo moron, Sarah Worley. I find it more than a little hilarious that those who he once made fun of are now his closest allies. People these days are a level above the word hypocrite. The sheer immensity of the double standard that is our generation astounds me.

We get our news about things from Facebook statuses. We can’t leave our cell phones in another room without having a heart attack about where the phone went. We all want that newest call of duty, or we want to pretend we hate video games, yet we love to play with the wii or the kinect. We all swear up and down that we don’t care about things that we do, and that we didn’t try to get with that girl or that guy. We all wait to stab our friends in the back at a moments notice, but drip our words with honeyed flattery and carefully designed statements to throw the scent off the trail. Girls in particular are the worlds worst for trying to fuck their best friends over. Shakes head* What a wonderful group of people congregated here in the mountains.

A lot of you make me sick to my stomach. Blissful ignorance is never what it seems and everyone knows more than they let on. Instead of letting the world know that we know more, we try to wrap ourselves in a cloak of mystique. I swear, trying to to deduce who said what in a friendship argument is like trying to read a fifties mystery novel these days. Subterfuge runs rampant and we all ignore our own parts in it. Believe me, I’m just as guilty. I’m probably even worse than you, because I bitch about it and resolve not to do it, then do it almost unconsciously. I’m just as sick as the rest of us.

I look through all the people on my friends list, I read tons of posts and blogs. I haven’t seen shit to inspire me to think differently. Reading the blogs of those who do exactly what I do make me laugh, because I’m so exasperated by the fact that they, too, think that they don’t see the shades of grey. Or that they’re actually proud of dealing in absolutes and never being able to realize that they really can’t see more than two feet past the murky depths of their own pride. Imagine looking down a hallway. You see the doors on the left and right sides of it, you see the double doors at the end, maybe a sign or two hanging over head that says where each door leads. The ones I’m talking about, they see no side doors. They see the double doors at the end of the hallway and barge right through them without a second thought, for better or for worse. Almost always, for worse. To bring themselves back through those doors and muster up the courage to take the door that leads to a different path is akin to asking them to tear off their own dick.

 

It’s all pride. Pride is the root of all evil, I’m sure of it. It’s why we’re all so hateful. Why we scorn everyone who we weren’t friends with in high school, or those we consider less intelligent than the rest of us. I don’t think I’m smarter than anyone, I just think I’ve opened my eyes quicker. Intelligence is a point of view to me, because as I’ve said before, the ‘dumbest’ person can say the most insightful things. Just because you can write a blog with some big words and coherent ideas doesn’t make you smart. Just because you know how to do calculus in your head, that doesn’t make you a genius. I think a genius is someone who uses their heart and their brain together in an effort to better themselves and those around them. They make things simple for those who need it simple and complicated for those who need a  challenge. A person who uses apathy and empathy equally and seamlessly.

I am not that person.

 

If you’ve read this far, you are a trooper. I’ve meandered through this blog and jumped from topic to topic. I can’t write any more true than what I have. I hope I make a difference in someone’s life somewhere with what I write.

Make a new friend today.

 

Oh yeah, and for the narrow minded faggots I mentioned earlier…this is what you look like to everyone:

 

 

More to come…

 

Six in the morning and I’m eatin’ cookies.

Internet cookies, actually. Eh heh heh heh. I think it’s going to form a habit, waking/staying up early, not even late. It’s early. I’ve been watching Bro run around and fuck shit up in his usual way. I woke up this morning around five, fucker had chewed my glasses apart. Oh, the joys of being a dog owner. I nearly killed him when I saw him try and chew on my Dre’s headphones cable. He learned his lesson real quick with those. If he wasn’t so damn cute, I’d sell him to an asian market when he gets like this.

 

The ground is covered entirely in snow here. I say that because there might be an off chance that someone reads this who doesn’t live here, before you dickheads tell me that I’m stating the obvious. According to my tv, 6:10 in the morning means that it’s Bo time. I was unaware that there were times where it WASN’T Bo time.

 

I said I would update this once a week, but now I feel like it’ll be more often. Due to popular demand, of course. I know that you just can’t wait for me to write some bullshit about something I don’t agree with. How about this God awful Julie Wunder? Her voice sounds like my dog when he’s whining because his ass hasn’t been wiped. You should hear my mom get started on her. “I just hate that Julie Wnder, fuck.” Okay, well, she doesn’t actually say fuck, but a cuss word spices everything up. Right? No? Then we are on two different wavelengths. But seriously, who thought it would be a good idea to spell Wonder with a ‘u’? An idiot. You look like a pretentious bitch, Julie.

Bro has discovered that he loves belly rubs. It’s pretty funny to walk into a room and see that he’s assumed the position. Why are the dicks on dogs just right there? Like. Why is it that when you rub his stomach and you’re not paying attention, you invariably get a handful of penis? Maybe I’m just gay, or something.

Right, well, I’m tired. I need to lay back down. Providing tittyfuck down here lets me do that.

Have a day worth having in the snow.

 

Julie, this is what you look like when you come onto the news in the morning:

 

Troll.

More to come…

 

It’s 5:12. What are YOU doing?

It’s been awhile since I’ve updated this. I ended up being a vagina and taking down the other blog that condemned my mother to a fiery pit in whatever hell you believe in. Oh well.

 

Yes, I am Shannon’s brother. No, my blog is nothing like hers. If you have come here to read about sunshine and bunnies, you are barking up the wrong blog. Go away.

 

I have until seven o clock this morning to write a blog worth reading. I’ll give it a shot.

Man. It’s been a ridiculous couple of months since I decided to take a hiatus from writing. Many things have happened. It’s a new year. A new start. I’m more than a little bit glad to put 2010 behind me. It was a year filled with woe and sadness and I’m quite glad to see the back of it. I’ve made a few new years resolutions. I plan on working out frequently, going to the gym, working out, getting into shape, eat right, defining my muscle tone, going to work out at the fitness center, and getting myself back into something that resembles shape. I also plan on updating this at least once a week. We’ll see how well that works out.

 

I got a drum set. Jesus Christ, it finally happened. No, I’m not in a band. Yes, I am better than you are at the drums. No, I won’t teach you. I am also getting a Husky/Lab pup! Stoked. I’m not sure what to name him…but Fenrir is at the top of my list. Yes, that is a Norse Wolf God. No, I’m not a humongous faggot that got that off of a video game. I actually read about Loki and Fenrir a long time ago. I love the name, but I mean…I’ve never had anything to name Fenrir before.

 

So far, this blog is less than interesting. I’m actually somewhat annoyed with myself because I generally hate writing about what I’ve done this week, month, etc. But hey, it is now 5:19 in the morning. I’m gonna cut myself a little slack.

It’s been interesting lately to watch the slow deterioration of my family. I say interesting because to slap yet another lamentable term onto it would just suck. My mother has sunk further and further into the abyss that is alcoholism. My father is sick of it. I am sick of it. It sucks, but there it is. Shannon and Andrew are both sick of it. Welcome to the Mimms family, Mandrew! Haha, how jaded. We’re all hoping that she will pull through this. But honestly, I believe she’ll pull through this about as much as I believe that Wes Albrecht will stop being a troll.

 

I was on a friends formspring today. Someone misspelled the word modeling with the word medeling. Who the fuck allowed these people to live past the budding stages of infancy? How on EARTH were you able to fuck that up? You didn’t even spell the word ‘meddling’ right, which rules out a ‘klever’ insult. These people seriously make my blood pressure build past the point of no return. I have to laugh when I see this because THAT is the next generation. I swear to whatever deity exists that these kids coming up are dumber than Bush when he’s trying to give a speech about something he can’t pronounce or understand, like politics. I actually saw one such moron have the nerve to rant about stupid people. They misspelled half of their words and just made me want to kill myself about halfway through. It was some belligerent idiot on one of my friends statuses. I even commented on it. I was amazed that this person no doubt commanded the respect of multiple people. They were hellbent on calling someone else stupid while using the bible as a source of credibility to fuel their argument. Yes, this is going to be a rant about religion and stupidity. (Not that there is a difference.)   Hang onto your hats, you’re in a for a treat if you stuck this far.

The end of the world. That’s what it was about. It actually infuriated me that this was even a fucking discussion, much less that a bible touting moron WON the argument. Or at least, they thought they did. I could name names, but I’m not to that point yet and this is just so much more fun to do. Everyone and their grandma knows that the world is ‘supposed’ to end in 2012. The common notion is that this is a fallacy. But the idea itself took root in the homo erectus that still walk among us, thinking they can fool the person with two brain cells to rub together that they are still in the same league, and it spread fear. It spread the Hollywood movies and zealots. But what I didn’t count on was the religious backlash I’ve seen from even the mere RUMOR that the world will end. Yes, the Mayans died out and they stopped updating their calendar. I’m aware the calendar repeats itself, but so many other options spring to mind on what might have happened to them that the end of the world theory makes me want to beat my head against a wall, and not gently. The end of a fucking sentence doesn’t meant it’s the end of the story. Fuck.  So, this genius with her adventure bible and Jesus pop out book decided to make her point. I couldn’t help but laugh at the futility of it all. Some Psalm was quoted that nobody cares about and she decided to throw the word fuck and shit in there a few times. It made her look like an ass and now it’s spawned this little section of my blog where I just have to rant about it. I’m sorry that I don’t look at the bible as a historically accurate source, Helen Keller. I’m sorry that I don’t think that a great wizard in the sky and his self help book overrules everything that science has proven and finalized.  The bible says that ‘no man knoweth the day, hour, blah blah fuck shit titties.’ That only God himself knows. So tell me, bible genius fuck. If there were three cups of water and only God knew which one was poisoned (he SAID he knew, THEN had a HUMAN write it down, and it has been MILLENIA since it’s been written, has been manipulated by several kings and a fair chunk of churches) would you drink from the one He said? If you said yes, slap yourself. If you said no, pat yourself on the back. You know the difference between faith and blind faith.

 

Fuck me in the beard. It’s not 5:43 in the morning and I’m ready to go to bed. Night shifts suck.

 

If you read this far, you deserve a reward. So here is a picture of General Patton reincarnate.

 

 

Until next week….

Haters gonna hate.

It’s been said that I’m an asshole. It’s been said that I’m fake. It’s been said I’m immature and that I give in to peer pressure. It’s been said I think I have it all figured out. It’s been said I think I know everything. It’s been said that I think I’m a badass and that I am a liar. It’s been said I’m not going anywhere in my life and that I’m never going to grow up. It’s also been said that I need to wake up and realize that I am losing what I have.

 

Well, I don’t pretend to be anything more than who I am. I don’t claim to be better than you. I don’t pretend like I’ve gone through tougher shit. That being said, I do the job that everyone hates and that everyone avoids. I call you out on being a pussy. I call you out on being an idiot. I call you out on being hypocritical and I call you out on being ridiculous. I deliver the tough and brutal truth. I am hated and respected for it. I have been told that I’m a bandwagon rider. That’s okay, because I do what appeals to me. If you have a problem with that, you’re not only an idiot but you’re hopeless. If you don’t do the things that appeal to you, then jesus christ…you’re wasting your time. If that is called being on the bandwagon, then I will GLADLY be on the bandwagon.

Now, to address the ‘I think I have everything figured out’ mantra. No, I don’t have everything figured out. Yes, I do know when you talk about me. Yes, I do know when you are being fake. Yes, I do know when you’re lying to me and YES I do know when you assume things that you’re wrong about. Just because I don’t hide the thoughts that everyone has doesn’t mean I’m so self-absorbed that I believe I’m better than you. I hate that cop out. I figured something out before you or I caught a life lesson ahead of you, so now…I’m an asshole. Whatever.

I’ve been through the wringer with the love of my life. And yet, I’m still not out of the judgments heaped upon me concerning that. Here is the deal for everyone to see. I will not abandon my friends for her. I will not abandon her for my friends. If you don’t like her, good for you. You don’t know her the way I do and you’re an idiot if you have no reason to not like her. She has done some stupid shit and I have done some stupid shit. We’re young and in love, what else do you expect? It took me a long time to realize there is more to life than the person you love. I sincerely hope that you, Michael, see that. You need a relationship where you know the difference between needing someone and wanting someone. I’ll take whatever abuse is said about me or to me. Nobody has the balls to say what they mean to me about this and the cop out of ‘i don’t find you important enough to mention it to’ is laughable, because apparently its important enough for you to mention behind me.  Fuck you.

Now, to address me being an asshole. Sure. Let’s slap that label on. No, I won’t respect you unless you respect me. If I feel you don’t deserve it, I won’t give it. Deal with it.

Now, to address that my ‘badass’ and my ‘liar’ titles. I don’t think I’m a badass. I talk shit when I play video games and I talk shit for comic relief. If you take me seriously, then you are, in every single meaning of the word, and idiot. And you not only deserve to be smacked upside the head, you deserve to be left alone with your overly sensitive little girl mentality. I know when I’ve gone too far. But I also know when you’re being a pussy. Concerning the liar business, all I have to say to you is: Haters gonna hate.

 

I cannot please everyone. I cannot make you like me. I cannot make you think I’m something special. I cannot make you realize the distinction between confidence and arrogance. I’m okay with that. It’s you who is butthurting over me. Not the other way around. To address the business of ‘I don’t care where I am in life’. I’m not going to waste my time explaining myself on that part. I am doing what I can with what I have where I am. People don’t seem to understand that things don’t happen on a dime. They don’t understand that I’m not a self-absorbed bastard who thinks only about his own future. I have a disintegrating family that I can’t up and leave. I have a girlfriend that I care about more than anything that I cannot up and leave. I have a job that I cannot up and leave. If that, to you, constitutes weakness, then more power to you. I wasn’t handed success on a silver platter. I made some dumb choices in my life that I can’t take back now. I know that. I don’t need the constant reminder of my faults. To quote Aaron Gillespie: please don’t confront me with my failures, i’m aware of them.

I don’t ask for advice. I don’t ask for your support.

No matter what you do in this life, someone will respect you for it and someone will disrespect you for it. I am satisfied, momentarily, with where I am. I will not change for you. If you have a problem with me, address it. Don’t gnaw on it like baby with a teething ring.

I’ll keep on keeping on. I’m pretty sure I’ve addressed everything that has been on my mind.

Until then…I only have one more thing to say:

 

Notes from a couple of my classes. Entertaining, I think. Enjoy.

You really don’t need commas before quotations. I think that colon’s are perfectly acceptable and grammar friendly, but who knows. I’ll be lucky to get a question in through this mindless muddle of increasingly trivial questions.

Author of the book. Not Arthur. Jesus.

Good God, Turabian makes SO much more sense than MLA. A footnote is so much tidier than a parenthetical citation at the end of a sentence. Sheesh.

Someone knows a Dendy in here. Sweet. It looks like that kid that Taylor said was distinctly gay is in here on the other side of the class. How unfortunate for him, if he is to talk to me.

Of course I effed up the paraphrase because I left the ‘little connectors’ in the sentence. Even though we’ve been operationg off the logic that that ‘common words’ are acceptable, I guess connectors aren’t. Sweet. Don’t forget that, Nathan.

I’m learning nothing right now. It’s like when Brian is quoting the Blair Witch Project to the blind guy. I really don’t know whether or not I should consider the kid who just spoke gay, or just sheltered as fuck. I cuss too much, It’s going to seriously get me in trouble. Haha. How hard is it to remember Nathaniel and Nathan? I have glasses, he doesn’t. I guess it takes an above average teacher to tell the difference. She’s better today, though. God, how I long for a creative writing class. I would run that bitch.

This should be great. Let’s see if anyone screwed up their summaries. This kid did not do his homework, I’ll put ten bucks on it. Hahaha. Why is it so hard to go up and write some shit on the board? I’m confused. If you’re that ridiculously pussy, how did you get the courage as an infant to break through the vaginal wall? People who are that deathly afraid of doing something like that, but don’t mind being obnoxious as fuck with their friends i.e. Anita Clark, the girl who magically knows everyone’s name, then they should have been shaken as a baby.

Why would you cite a summary…? Or a paraphrase…? I feel like I’m bein esfixiated with an amniotic sac. Uh-oh, some kid got no complaints from teach on their paraphrase. Time for them to adjourn to bathroom to masturbate in self-satisfaction.

I have a real problem with respecting authority. My laptop is freaking out. A second ago, I had two hours and four minutes of battery life. Now, I have three hours and ten minutes. FFFFFFUUUUUUUCCCCCKKKKKKKK.

Fat people who take their shoes off are gross. When you look over and see a pair of empty generic purple flip flops on the floor that have foot grime, you stare for a second. Then you see what looks like a package of salted back fat with little smokies on the end. Hmm. DJ would have puked if he read that simlie.

That was from my english class. First day there.

Now, History.

Why the hell is hcc so fucking gay when it comes to it’s internet?

Prince Henry the Navigator. Extraordinaire.

Brandi has a brand new laptop. Cool.

Now he’s doing some shit about open office. I guess my notes have officially begun.

No more Sarah Palin jokes. She’s so fucking gay. I remember when my kid had down syndrome. Then I ran for president. Oh wait…

Who even cares about baseball anymore? America’s past time is a joke these days. We moved to this ridiculously large room for some reason best known to McLamb. I won’t diss on him like my joke of an english teacher because I actually like him.

If you don’t have internet you should probably get off the welfare check and get a job. Pussy.

Russia is gay. No matter what they did in ANY military battle, they ran out with troops in front of tanks and got pasted like the punk ass, overpopulated bitches they are.

Nothing really worth writing has struck me yet. This kid is kind of….dumb. Haha.

I want to get flogged in public by McLamb. That would be a cornerstone in my life.

At least he’s honest. His favorite food consists of hot dogs and pizza. That COULD be a contributing factor to the certainty that his pancreas will eventually eat itself instead of the garbage wrapped in garbage that he shoves down his massive gullet.

They’re making a new x-men movie based in the sixties? What do? I think that franchise ran out of steam when the juggernaut got a british accent.

It still cracks me up that there is a girl in here whose last name is yarrski.

Howevski, that doesn’t mean I can nitpick on her.

Christopher Columbus

1451-1506

Importance of reconquista?

The reconquista is the ‘recon quest’ of Spain. Something about Grenata and the expulsion of shit. SHUT UP, KID. FUCK.

Wars cost money. Spain, who fought the shit out of several wars, is broke.

What was he looking for?

China. He wanted to go to China. God knows why, but he wanted to go to China. Everything comes from China, he says. Including too many fucking people. But hey, I’m hip. I don’t judge.

He’s gotta get past bandits and shit on some road, goes by the sea of Italy, which is why they have enough money for the rennaissance. Incidentally.

The caravel was a really good ship for exploration at the time.

Columbus really wanted to go West to get to China. Cool story, bro.

Columbus sucked total penis at math, so he failed completely and ended up below America.

Ferdinand and Isabella put the real shit on Columbus.

Comments?

The finer (or under-appreciated) things…

I was just laying on my couch trying my damnedest to go to sleep. It didn’t work. I’m getting the middle finger from my immune system currently, so it appears that sleep will become hard to get. Oh well.

I was laying there immersed in thoughts and as is my wont, I decided to get up and type some of them down. Why is it that we take for granted the finer things? I love to sit down sometimes and read some book from some author that NONE of my friends know. I like to see the sunset from atop a mountain, I like to listen to that song that you haven’t heard in forever, but you love. I like to see other people extend the hand of kindness to someone else who obviously needs it. Of course, as with everything it seems that I write about, the ‘finer’ things in life differ from person to person. If it wouldn’t be hypocritical as fuck, I’d say I hate individuality sometimes. Mainly because I’m like everyone else in the aspect that I believe MY ideas are right and that anyone who disagrees was obviously shaken as a baby.

I love how ridiculous people are these days. If you can’t agree with that, come out from under your rock. Take for example the popular music these days. I just plain DON’T like Justin Bieber. I have one friend who said “Why, because he can sing good and you don’t like anything?” I kinda laughed about it, because I took voice lessons. I know singers. And yes, Justin can sing. That doesn’t mean for one second that I have to enjoy his voice. But then, I turn around and ask about this Ke$ha chick and was at first revolted, but then realized that I like the beats. Doubtless, I will be categorized as a fag for that, but that’s just my point. If you like something that someone else dislikes, you’re gay. You’re an idiot. etc. Which is funny to me, because I know that over half of the people who call you gay for listening to that song have it downloaded on their mp3 players. It’s kind of funny, and to those people who read this who’ve not got more than two brain cells to rub together, it’s true. If you like Justin Bieber and have been made fun of for it, chances are that at least one of your cat-callers enjoy listening to him. How funny is that to you? People judge the absolute hell out of you based on your music taste. And you know something, it’s also funny that EVERYONE loves to listen to music, but if someone starts to sing out loud to music, they are instantly shouted down and mocked for singing badly. It makes you want to face palm.

Leading me to my next point, what gives us the right to say we’re better than someone else? Society. The double edged sword. If you apply to the societal standards, you are probably very popular in your school. Also, if you’re ‘trendy’ with your fashion sense and just different enough to catch the attention of others (plus you have a decent body and looks) then you’re probably popular. It’s another face palm.

I think one of the finer things in life is innocence. When was the last time you felt like you could do anything? When was the last time you truthfully didn’t know the meaning of a sexual euphemism? It kinda smacks you in the face. But then again, innocence can be a bad thing. Ugh. I hate how EVERYTHING has two sides. Calvin sums it up best: “Life’s disappointments are harder to take when you don’t know any swear words.”

This blog is so disjointed. I didn’t really cover my title and I meandered everywhere. I think that after reading that retard’s blog the other day, I feel almost as though whatever I put up here will spawn some other dreadful display of mediocrity. Here’s to hope, I suppose.

I guess I can’t stress enough that it’s time for everyone to just be who they are. I hate people who are two totally different people around me and someone else. It’s just pathetic.

“People must think its fun to be a super genius, but they don’t realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world.”